The Da Vinci Code = lamentable tripe

...It's so bad, I'm running out of adjectives to describe how bad it is. It's a lamentable, excrable piece of tripe. Why are people reading this awful excuse for a book? It's choppy, wooden, poorly paced, and the characters are cardboard cutouts. The "romance" at the end of it is a joke. There's no leadup. All of a sudden the chick comes on to the guy. There's your romance. Maybe it's romance for dummies.

That's not even getting into the ridiculous theological part of it and how wrong the man is about church history (and I know that subject, trust me on this one). Because, fact is, I may not believe in whatever theology you are constructing your universe around, but if you can tell me a good story, I can suspend my disbelief for the duration of your book/series. But you have to sell it to me. Because it is bad fiction! Bad! Bad! Bad!

The only reason I didn't quit reading in the first chapter, where I realized How Very Bad it was, was that this was the book everybody has read and I wanted to be able to comment coherently on it. So there ya go. My coherent comment.